Going to the Spielplatz gives rise to some surprising and contradictory feelings in me. First there's the fear and loathing (surprising) and then also contentedness and dread (contradictory).
So the contentedness comes in as I take in the beautiful sunny day, realizing I'm taking my children on an outing that is good for them and that they enjoy, but then, I dread the boredom of standing in the sweltering sun, chasing kids from one either dangerous or boring piece of equipment to the next. And also, sand in my shoes, and the walk home with whiny kids.
The fear and loathing is tied to the language/cultural barrier I experience on a daily basis, but even more acutely at the playground. I realized today that I find it necessary, (and helpful) to repeat silently, "I do not have the plague, I do not have the plague, I do NOT have the plague!" as I circulate at the Spielplatz. As much as I have learned in these few months of twice weekly language classes, I still can't converse with someone who doesn't have significant patience and/or an English education of some sort.* Strangers are, by definition, unknown, and as such, are generally out. So I stand in silence, smiling a LOT. I see Moms from the Kindergarten, but we don't do any more than smile since communicating is so difficult. I am hesitant to talk even with my own kids in English lest I give away my un-German-ness to those who don't know me already as "The Canadian" (as if the grinning idiot schtick didn't tip them off that I am "different").
By the time we arrive the benches are full, so I lurk by the tree, trying to keep sight of both girls. Or else I follow them around, hoping they don't meet a friend and make me go back to my tree. No really, when they meet a friend, I'm thrilled - they're integrating! They're having fun! That's good!
My ever-watchful gaze lands on some little boys and girls with big sticks, whipping them in the air, millimetres from each others' eyes. An attacked boy retreats to a bush where he yells loudly at the bigger boy, clearly distraught by his near blinding. And no one intervenes. Where are their parents? Should I step in? Perform a rescue? But who to save, as the hunted becomes the hunter.
Truth is, playground etiquette confuses me in my own land, never mind in another culture. At least this playground is fun, and not too dangerous. High platforms, huge gaps between stairs, loads of moving parts. What could go wrong?
*Note: Most Germans have had English in high school, but apparently the classes are very boring and stressful without much speaking practice. They tense up immediately upon realizing that I speak "nur ein bisschen Deutsch".